The Deranged Adventures
by JimBobIndoors
Summary: PG for mention of buttsekz. Characters go on some rather insane adventures...


--SPIRA--   
  
Yuna: NICE TO KNOW YOU   
  
Rikku: YOU TOO!   
  
Lulu: I guess I'll just "shop" some more on Ebay. More like loathe and envy though. Bwah. *walks away*   
  
Wakka: My friends are weird, ya? *talks to random Chocobo*   
  
Yuna: GOOD-BYE EI NICE TO KNOW YOU   
  
Rikku: NICE TO KNOW YOU TOO *throws cake at Yuna's head*   
  
Yuna: NICE TO KNOW YOU   
  
Rikku: *throws plastics dinosaurs at Yuna's head*   
  
Yuna: *tastes cake* CARROT CAKE? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? *throws back*   
  
Rikku: *shrugs and dumps carrot cake on Tidus's head*   
  
Tidus: Hey! What was that for? *eats cake and goes back into trunk*   
  
Yuna: *looks*   
  
Rikku: *skips away leaving Tidus and Yuna with cake and toy dinosuars*   
  
Wakka: TIDUS DID NOTHING! HEY! Yunacycle! *goes shopping*   
  
Rikku: So?   
  
Yuna: *runs after Rikku*   
  
Tidus: *yells* KIMAHRI! I CAN'T GET OUT, SO YOU GO ATTACK RIKKU! *sics Kimahri on Rikku*   
  
Rikku: Uh-oh. *runs*   
  
Kimahri: *growls*   
  
Rikku: *bribes Kimahri to go away with doggy treats*   
  
Yuna: *summons Ifrit*   
  
Rikku: Uh-oh. I don't think that thing wants doggy treats.   
  
Yuna: HAH! *summons valefor*   
  
Rikku: *teleports away to... er... OZ*   
  
Yuna: *throws confetti as Rikku leave* Finally. *turns to everyone* RIKKU IS OFFICIALY GONE!   
  
*the whole group cheers loudly (Tidus cant yell, so instead he bangs and shakes the trunk violently. We're not sure if he was trying to get out or if he was happy)*   
  
--IN OZ--   
  
Rikku: *suddenly acquires dog* Toto, I don't think we're in Spira anymore! *"runs in circles screaming WHEEEEEEE!!!!"*   
  
Yuna: *after teleporting to Oz, too* Oh holy Yevon!   
  
Rikku: Yunie! *continues skipping around with Toto in tow*   
  
Yuna: Wheeeee!*spots Lord Ochu and throws confetti at him*   
  
Rikku: Alalalalalala *a telephone appears...calls Lord Ochu*   
  
Yuna: Must...spread...happiness...   
  
Rikku: *on phone* HI!!!!   
  
Yuna: Oooohh...what does this do? *summoms Magus Sisters* Oops.   
  
Rikku: Alalalalala.... *waits for reply*   
  
Jim Bob: Hello   
  
Rikku: FINE!! DON'T ANSWER!! -oh, hi   
  
Jim Bob: Jim Bob need buttsekz   
  
Rikku: JIM BOB IS STALKING ME ISN'T HE?   
  
Jim Bob: Can Jim Bob have buttsekz from you?   
  
Yuna: *overhears telephone conversation and cringes* DON'T DO IT, RIKKU!   
  
Rikku: Oh well, he can't reach me in Oz. *Jim Bob appears*   
  
Jim Bob: BUTTSEKZ!   
  
Rikku: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs away and hides behing munchkins*   
  
Jim Bob: BUTT!!!!! *starts chasing you*   
  
Yuna: Maybe he'll get scared of the little people. Rikku, just dont, whatever you do, tie your shoes.   
  
Rikku: Okay!   
  
Yuna: DO NOT BEND OVER!   
  
Random Munchkin: *takes grenades and runs away*   
  
Rikku: *teleports to Emerald City*   
  
--EMERALD CITY--   
  
Rikku: HI LORD OCHU!!!   
  
Lord Ochu: Uh, hello, are you here for dinner?   
  
Rikku: ARE YOU GONNA EAT ME?   
  
Lord Ochu: No, no, not at all... *looks around as if Rikku knows his secret plan*   
  
Rikku: OKAY! *puts toto down and runs in circles*   
  
Lord Ochu: Okay, sit down here in this nice boiling hot kettle with carrots floating around...   
  
Rikku: RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING I CAN RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- *is distracted by pot*   
  
Lord Ochu: ...and we'll begin dinner, okay? Rikku: Ooohhh...pretty... *touches with finger* OW!!!! Can Toto do it instead?   
  
Lord Ochu: NO! Put on gloves! And GET IN!   
  
Rikku: OKAY! *throws Toto in*   
  
Lord Ochu: I DONT LIKE EATING FURR- er, I mean I don't like hurting animals.   
  
Yuna: Holy Yevon! Rikku, your dog!   
  
Lord Ochu: *looks at Yuna and smiles evily, then looks back to Rikku* So you must get in first.   
  
Rikku: ...Toto? *sobs* I ONLY KNEW YOU FOR-*checks watch*-10 MINUTES!!!!   
  
Yuna: *looks around Lord Ochu's cottage and gasps* FORBIDDEN MACHINA! *faints*   
  
Lord Ochu: Toto is just an appetize- I mean, he's going to be eating lovely dog food appertizers from Spain.   
  
Rikku: REALLY?   
  
Lord Ochu: Yes.   
  
Rikku: We're off to find a Toto, the wondeful Toto of Oz!   
  
Lord Ochu: No we're not! *throws you into pot*   
  
Rikku: YES WE ARE!! Ow. *throws grenades and jumps out then uses ice things to make water cold* HAH! *pulls up...er...remains of Toto...sobs*   
  
Random Munchkin: Wow..DOROTHY!! *throws grenades at cage then runs away*   
  
Yuna: *wakes up* I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL!   
  
Rikku: WELL, I'M EATING ROAST DOG FOR DINNER! *chomps on Toto* LOLOLOL   
  
Yuna: *points at you* CANNIBAL!   
  
Lord Ochu: Whoa...what does this do? *picks up Harry Potter's wand and knocks himself out*   
  
Rikku: *looks at Toto* He's a dog. I'm a human.   
  
Lord Ochu: *wakes up and teleports to Alaska.*   
  
Yuna: Uh, no, check the collar. You're a poodle.   
  
Rikku: *looks at neck* RIKKU DA POODLE. *rips off collar* NOW IM NOT.   
  
*collar reappears*   
  
Rikku: HEY! *teleports to Japan* Ooohh... *thinks collar is pretty* Wow... *walks up to random person*   
  
Yuna: Uh-oh... *hides*   
  
Rikku: CHO CHI CHUNG CHONG CHUNG?   
  
Yuna: *looks over at them*   
  
Rikku: Eh... *shrugs and hands the person Toto*   
  
Random Person: Chong Chong! I missed you! *pets dog*   
  
Rikku: Galalalalalanam. *teleports to... Germany*   
  
Rikku and Yuna: NAZIS!!! *screams*   
  
Random Person: LEMIERIK VANSLAUGH!   
  
Rikku: Translation???   
  
Yuna: ?   
  
Rikku: Who did the Nazis kill? The Jewish?   
  
Yuna: Yeah..   
  
Rikku: Good thing it's not the AL Bhed. Or we'd be toast.   
  
Yuna: Yeah..   
  
Random Persons Interperter: CHOCOLATE CHOCOBOS FOR SALE!   
  
Rikku: Huh? *is suddenly interested* I WANT ONE!!!!   
  
Random Person: GOOTENGAGH FREDERICK!   
  
Rikku: *runs in circles* CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCO- what?   
  
Random Person's Interpeter: 5 GIL PER CHOCOLATE CHOCOBO ASK FOR FREDERICK STYLE CHOCOLATE   
  
Rikku: *throws some money at person and takes chocolate Chocobo* HERE YA GO!   
  
Random Person's Interpeter: REMEMBER, THESE CHOCOBOAS ARE HIGHLY EDIBLE BUT THE SUGAR CONTENT WILL MAKE YOU VERY HYPER!   
  
Yuna: ...Chocoboas?   
  
Random Person's Interpeter: Hey, lay off, it's been a rough day...   
  
Yuna: *shrugs*   
  
*Rikku and Yuna teleport back to Spira*   
  
--SPIRA--   
  
Rikku: *eats* WOW!!!!! I'M EVEN MORE HYPER THAN BEFORE!!! *runs into tree and faints*   
  
Kimahri: Kimahri like butter.   
  
Rikku: *wakes up* STUPID TREE!! *sees Jim Bob* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *runs away*   
  
Wakka: Lulu, what is that? *points to black feather thing*   
  
Lulu: Boas made from dyed Chocobo feathers.   
  
Jim Bob: Buttsekz! RIKKU! BUTTSEKZ!   
  
Rikku: *hides*   
  
Jim Bob: RIKKU! *chases after you*   
  
Rikku: *runs to tidus and hides*   
  
Yuna: HEY! DONT TAKE MY BOYFRIEND *pushes tidus out of the way*   
  
Rikku: *is suddenly aware that she is not hiding behind anyone and looks up* AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!   
  
Yuna: *pokes Rikku repeatedly* If you even think *is still poking* that you can take my boyfriend *STILL poking* YOU ARE WRONG!   
  
Rikku: *pokes back to see what happens*   
  
Yuna: *pokes one last time, then summons Valefor to kick Rikku's butt*   
  
Rikku: Eeek!   
  
Yuna: *punches Rikku in nose*   
  
Rikku: OW! *hides behind jimbob*   
  
Jim Bob: No, Rikku! Jim Bob stand behind you!   
  
Rikku: ... *is now running away then hides behind Yuna*   
  
Yuna: *is still angry at Rikku* LISSEN UP, YA BLONDIE! GET OUTTA FROM BEHIND ME AND FACE THE MUSIC   
  
Rikku: ...*sits on ground*   
  
Yuna: JIM BAB WANTS BUTTERSELLS, OKAY? SO GO GIVE HIM BUTTERSELLS!   
  
Rikku: Noo.... he wants.. *whispers in ear then sits back down*   
  
Yuna: Oh, ew..okay! Hide behind me and I'll get Valefor to kick his nasty buttsekz butt to Germany to buy chocolate Chocobos and look at the shiny things in grocery store displays!   
  
Rikku: *is happy* ALALALALA! *stands up and throws grenades at Jim Bob* TAKE THAT!   
  
*Valefor does some mean stuff to Jim Bob while Jim Bob admires Valefor and asks repeatedly for buttsekz*   
  
Rikku: HEY, JIMBOB! GO EAT THE PRETTY SHINY THINGS ON DISPLAY AT THE GROCERY SOTRE!   
  
Jim Bob: OKAY! *teleports to Mars instead of Germany*   
  
--MARS--   
  
Johnny: Hey! Who's that?   
  
Jim Bob: BUTTSEKZ!! *walks out from behind rock like zombie and screams "BUTTSEKZ!"*   
  
Johnny: TIFFANY! OFF TO SATURN! *zooms away*   
  
Nathan: *walks up* Hey, um, how'd I get here? My friends *points to Masters of the Universe figurines* and I only paid for the bus trip to San Francisco.   
  
Tiffany: Uh...*looks at Kyrsten.*   
  
Kyrsten: Yeah..   
  
Tiffany and Kyrsten: *garden hose noise* MEANIE! YOU GAVE US F's ON OUR TESTS!   
  
Johnny: *hears Lizzie McGuire theme song* NOOOO! *goes into fetal posistion*   
  
Tiffany: Oh, God. Not again... *turns of T.V.* Johnny, I told you to put on your earplugs before you watch T.V. *tries to sit Johnny up.*   
  
Nathan: Uh... *starts singing Rasputina*   
  
Johnny: NOOOOOO!   
  
Tiffany: NATHAN! *throws chocolate Chocobo at Nathan*   
  
Nathan: Ow. *faints*   
  
Kyrsten: *pulls out scissors* PERFECT TIME FOR A HAIRCUT!   
  
Tiffany: YEAH! *pulls out scissors*   
  
Masters of the Universe: *blank expressions plastic figurines have for some strange reason*   
  
--BACK AT SPIRA--   
  
Rikku: *looks at valefor* HI   
  
Valefor: *glares*   
  
Rikku: Uh.... *backs up slowly and talks quietly* Nice birdy...   
  
Valefor: *smiles and begins to chew on Jim Bob's leg he left behind while teleporting*   
  
Rikku: *throws a part of Toto at Valefor* I GOT YOU SOME FOOD!!   
  
Yuna: valefor will love you forever.   
  
Rikku: Cool. *runs in circles, crashes into something and faints*   
  
Valefor: *looks at Rikku and uses his newly learned word* ...Buttsekz?   
  
Rikku: *wakes up at the sound of he dreaded word and screams*   
  
Everyone: *hides*   
  
Yuna: *sends away valefor* wow..gross.   
  
Auron: *wakes up* Did I miss anything? How long did I sleep? *sees and hears Valefor and screams* TO BE CONTINUED................................ MWAHAHAHAHA 


End file.
